Aloha, and for your Chinese wisdom for the week, “One step at a time is good walking!” Now, one joke at a time is great laughter! Get on it!
The light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection. The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cellphone and makeup (yes, she was talking, doing makeup and driving). As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer! The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up! He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted and placed in a holding cell after her photograph. After a couple of hours, the officer approached the cell and opened the door. She was taken back to the booking desk where all her personal items were returned. The officer said, “I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak. I then noticed the “What Would Jesus Do” bumper sticker, and the “Follow Me to Sunday School” bumper sticker, so naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car!”
Now for some “out of the mouths of da kids!”
** Never trust a dog to watch your food — Patrick, 10
** When your Dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” Don’t answer!
** Never tell your Mom that her diet is not working — Mike, age 12
** When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair — Mary, 10
** If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse! — Naomi, 14
And the grande finale …
** Never try to baptize a cat! — Eileen, 8
Some for you sports fans …
** Football is moshing in shiny pants while wearing helmets! * Softball is that thing when you sit in a field, talking to a leaf, before a ball eventually rolls by you, and then everyone is yelling!
** Tennis is for couples to take up briefly before finally just going to marriage counseling! ** Snorkeling is for people who like to upset fish but not kill them! … and da best of all! ** Skydiving is for people who sort of want to stay alive, but also sort of don’t!
I hate it when you can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and the resident tech expert is asleep! He’s 5 years old and it is past his bedtime.
And now one more and we close! Not to brag, but I just went into another room and actually remembered why I went in there!
Do good deeds. Be well! Be kind to your tax man! Aloha, a hui hou.